Friday, May 15, 2009

But if you smile and think happy thoughts it's just supposed to get automatically better right?

I may be being a touch overdramatic here, but at this point, between the damn e-coli in the water (Yeah - it totally was - I have proof and it's not very pretty at all) all the recent doctors visits, plain old rude as crap people, and generally shittyness, my life is like one step away from a country song. I'm not going to say what would really top it off because I'm afraid that putting it in print twice (once in a text) will jinx it.

Anyway - here are the crappy events of the last roughly 24ish hours. Judge for yourself:

6:15am - The boyfriend's alarm goes off. So we're off and running. Well he is. I need like another 30 minutes before I'm even partially coherent. How in the hell he manages to jump straight outta bed and starts running around getting ready is beyond me. Although I suppose if all I had to do to get ready was pull on some crappy pants and crappy shirt, run water and gel through my hair and make coffee I could probably be more motivated too.

6:35am - Take the boyfriend to work and return home to continue getting ready.

7:50am - Yay! Blender still works! Raspberry smoothie it is!

9:00am - Door at the J-O-B open. Less than a little thrilled about having to let the people in, but I mean I guess that's fairly inveitable.

9:10am - **SLAM** **SLAM**......**SLAM** **SLAM**......**SLAM** **SLAM**....

9:20am - and some more **SLAM** **SLAM**....**SLAM** **SLAM** This is the lovley sound that our doorS...yeah that's plural..make as people just whip them open and then let them **SLAM** **SLAM** shut. Some days are worse than others. This morning is particularily bad. It seems people are really puttin' some back into opening them. Odd, since the doors are exactly the same and are no heavier than any other day. I guess people must be workin' out....

9:25am - **the screeching sounds of old woman barking away** God DAMN old people are loud as shit. I would imagine this is because they can no longer hear.

9:30am - **old women screeching**

9:35am - Oh good! Now there's like a little town hall meeting in the lobby directly outside of my office. The hell is going on out there? So in addition to **old woman screeching** there's just a general cacophony going on. I'm not sure why El Banco is like the morning meeting place right now (**SLAM** **SLAM** )Especially since there is a restaurant/coffee shop situation directly across the street. I will pay these people to kindly go over there.

9:40am - head is pounding. Door is still slamming. People still screeching.

12:00pm - Right before I'm supposed to go to lunch (although at this point it's rather a dumb thing to do anyway since my body is constantly rejecting food) someone walks in. Of course they want to open a new account. Of course.

12:30pm - The guy was really nice - so I feel bad for getting all annoyed initally. Oops. Also? He was a priest. Ugh. Hand me my handbasket...again.

1:30pm - I had a raspberry smoothie, cottage cheese and crackers. Do you think this managed to stay down? NO. Of course not. So now I will enjoy being sick for the entire rest of the day once again.

2:00pm - 4:30pm - The door slamming has pretty much died down and there's no more town hall gatherings in the lobby so yay! However the phone is nuts. What do these people even want? I start snatching up the phone after like a ring and a half just to have mercy on my nerves so I won't have to hear it any more.

4:31pm - We get to lock the doors!! Well actually a minute ago. And had I been paying attention I would have noticed this. Since I did not another customer snuck in under the radar and so now while I'm locking the doors I'm also letting him out. Since I'm doing that, I basically have the door open, while yet another customer moseyes on up and wants to do a cash advance. You have do these inside. I have to let her in. We fall further behind.

4:35pm - We rush around trying to get things closed up. I am exhausted and the phone is still ringing. What is going on? More answering just to shut it the hell up already.

5:00pm - I am more than ready to leave. Luckily I have a FREE microdermabraison appointment scheduled at a spa. Yay! I just need to get home, change, and head over and then it's an hour of nothing but SILENCE. Sweet. Also? The rest of my friend's wedding shower invitations are in. One more thing to cross of that list!

5:35pm - Have a rather blissful drive to the spa. Usually I dread heading downtown around this time. Typically it's a mess of people driving home from work and school and that's just not a situation my blood pressure can deal with right now. Not today! It's pretty clear driving. I don't even get stuck behind or around any motorcycles and/or crotch rockets so BONUS!

5:50pm - I smile at the pretty girl behind the check-in counter at the spa. She looks confused. My stomach is knotting and not because I ate anything recently. They can't find my appointment. I can't even be mad about it because it was free. The recptionist even starts to offer to let me hang around and they can squeeze me in but then as she continutes tapping away on the keyboard realizes there are just no appointments available. She does, however, give me a few free samples and reschedules. Neither of these things is really a replacement for the kind of peace an hour of silence can give you though.

6:00pm - Drive back across town. Of course I am stuck behind/around some guy on a motorcycle who appears as though he is trying to look like he is a motorcycle gang. I don't care about how he looks - I only care that his motorcycle is loud, and made even louder when he randomly decides to rev the engine and be bound and determined to not let me pass him. Also motorcycles smell. My car neither emits a foul oder or is loud. I seriously want to tell his guy to go suck a tailpipe.

6:15pm - Arrive at Hobby Lobby while simultaneously on the phone with best friend. If nothing else she is like the second best thing to having a quiet hour at the spa - she lets me bitch as much as I want and yet still manages to make me laugh. Especially when she tells me that a mutual acquaintance who is generally all high and mighty about her getting divorced. Huh...yeah doesn't pay to mock people from your high horse so much now does it?

On another note I find pink acrylic ice for my friend's wedding shower - yay! And the large diamond paper weights - also for the wedding shower - are 50% off!

6:40pm - I go to check out and get the invitiations that were rain checked. I was pretty sure that I already paid for them hence the buying of other things when I had like $17 in my bank account. WRONG! So then I owed money I didn't even have which was fun.

6:45pm - 11:30pm - Pretty uneventful merifully! The boyfriend was organizing his stuff and had vacuumed! (yay!!!) and I got to catch up on "Ugly Betty" AND the "Lost" season finale. Downloaded some new "vehicles" on my Garmin and finalled called it a night. Also on the plus side was my spray dry shampoo worked a LOT better than it did the first time I tried it. Which was good because I was too lazy and tired to actually wash my hair what with all the new vehicle downloading.

5:50am - Too early. **SNOOZE**

6:00am - Ugh. Still to early. **SNOOZE**

6:10am - Ok now I'm behind. Get up!

6:30am - Take the boyfriend to work. I'm still not really awake and he starts telling me all this stuff in the car but my brain isn't engaged yet so I'm confused and so I nod and smile anyway.

7:00am - OMG what am I doing! Still dinking around with my hair. Now I can't find the white t-shirt that goes with like all my work clothes. What is happening??

7:10am - Finally find white shirt. Rush around getting the cats locked away in their room for the day. Get them some food. Race around stuffing everything in my purse. Run back to the cat's room because I forgot my iPod. Race back to the kitchen and shove a bunch of Mt Dew, Ensure (yeah yuck it up - but it stays down!) and race cakes in a bag and run out the door.

7:15am - On the road 15 minutes too late! Why didn't I just get up at 6am?? Stupid.

7:40am - OMG there is a major backup on the beltline. Well of course. Stupid rush hour. Stupid me for not getting up on time!

7:50am- So close to the clinic! I'm at stop light waiting to turn left. The car ahead of me and myself are in the middle of the intersection when it turns yellow. We both speed up to get out of the way and complete the turn. As my car is crossing the path of the traffic coming straight on who also has a yellow light and probably red by now I look over to make sure nobody else is running the light. It appears as though they are all slowing down to a stop.

Suddenly some old guy like decides to gun it straight into my car! Luckily the boyfriend just replaced my front brakes and I'm a pro on the horn. I slam on both at the same time and the old guy comes with in inches of t-boning me. Awesome.

7:55am - Fly past parking ramp...structure? For my doctor's office. Since it's yet another office I haven't been in I wasn't familiar with their parking. Now I have to Do a few U turns including one into the intersection I almost got t-boned in. Awesome.

8:00am - Finally get to the correct ramp/structure? Get registered for the appointment. Do I want to pay my co-pay right now? Um...not really.

8:35am - Frantically text work that I am still with the doctor.

9:15am - Done! Yay. Wait. What's with the weather all of a sudden here? When I left it felt like it was getting warm and was totally sunny. Now it's gray and on the verge of rain. Plus it's cooled way down. Super. Because I didn't bring a jacket. Plus like three windows are open at home. Awesome.

9:25am - Stuck behind some slow ILLINOIS driver going up the on ramp for the beltline. Of course. As we near the beltline - which - I might add - is going at a completely frantic pace the driver slows down even MORE. Awesome. I'm going to die because people from Illinois are complete asshats. The merging is a complete mess wherein I almost get sideswiped because nobody currently on the beltline will move the hell over and the asshat from Illinois is going at a snails pace and also won't move over.

I have a lot of road rage - maybe this is obvious. However, not only was this totally justified, but it's the first time I wanted to pull somone out of their car and just scream at them about not killing the people on the road around you with your complete;u ass backwards ILLINOIS driving methods. Omg.

9:30am - Luckily Jim Gaffigan is on the Bob & Tom show - and has been all morning. I decide to try and breath will enjoying Jim's ruminations on Hot Pockets.

9:45am - Arrive at work. And in one piece!

10:00am - I don't even have my purse off my shoulder before a CSR sends a call to me. Thaaanks. You know what is really helpful? If you own a business - you should know the correct business name! I fail to understand how it's possible not to have this information. Aaaaand we're off!

10:15am - I basically get yelled at because lending law have changed....from 20 years ago! Ya think? Listen lady - there may have been a time when calling up a bank and giving a sob story, bitching about the current bank you are with, then claming to not have only worked in banking for 30 years but at the very bank I work at may have gotten you a lower rate or prehaps they simply opened a drawer full of money and asked you how much you wanted - but now? This is not the case. It's been twenty years. Once I quote you a rate range I don't care if you're Ghandi...there's nothing else I can do.

After this things improved greatly - and I kept down my chocolate Ensure lunch! Yay! Maybe smiling and trying to think happy thoughts does help? Or maybe someone figured I finally suffered enough!

No comments:

Post a Comment