Monday, May 4, 2009

Deep thoughts from the WC

So I’m sitting in the bathroom and I know it’s gonna be a little while cuz I had Subway for lunch (see? It was going to be awhile…) and so obviously I’m getting bored what with nothing to read not even any interesting, or any other kind of graffiti on the walls (see! Graffiti IS useful!). I suppose I could have brought my book with me, but someone else in the office does that and it just seems really odd to me I mean we’re at work so you shouldn’t necessarily be camping out in there.

Anyway….there’s this small stack of extra toilet paper rolls on the back of the toilet, you know the ones that corporations buy in bulk and they each come wrapped in their own individual paper wrappers? I reach behind me and get one. I mean something to look at is better than nothing. As I’m staring at it and brushing up on my Spanish reading abilities, I realize something: some guy or gal had to like sit down, at their job, every day and work on designing this thing.

Then they had to go home every day and be all “yeah so I’m designing the wrapping for toilet paper” and nobody would know how to respond because what do you say? I mean you don’t really want to hear all about it and you don’t really feel sorry for them because you have like real problems at your job. Then this person has to present this idea for the wrapper to Georgia Pacific or whoever and they probably don’t like it, so it’s back to the drawing board and like for months this person is just working on designing wrapping for toilet paper. TOILET. PAPER.

I mean, what must those marketing meetings sound like? GP is all “we want it to look nice, not too nice because it’s still toilet paper, but nice enough so that if and when companies leave extras laying around it looks all ‘designer’ and promotes a healthy work environment because now the employees see it and think ‘hey my company cares enough to buy me the good stuff’

Then the person goes back and works on this some more and like a few weeks later they have to have another meeting about this toilet paper and GP is all “We just don’t think you’re seeing our vision for this wrapper. I mean this is 2 ply paper here man! And it’s made with 20% post-consumer recycled fibers! Do you see it? Do you see our vision?”

Let’s just say I was pretty glad to go back to my desk and think hey – how lucky am I. I have a job in this crazy economy and it has absolutely nothing to do with toilet paper. Except when I have to wipe my ass. Otherwise, not so much.

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