Get out the Swiffer - It's Dusty in Here

**tap, tap** Ahem! **tap** Hello? Anyone out there? **tap, tap**. **COUGH** Whew! Dusty in here eh? Oh! And look! Some cobwebs in the corner there. So, I'm back? I"m not sure if anyone cares, but, enough procrastinating is enough I think. This feels a little...awkward.

I want to re-dedicate myself to this blog. Mainly for selfish reasons, obviously. I love writing, and I loved the idea that I may be entertaining someone - even if it is only one person. Maybe two? Unfortunately, it's easy to lose focus, especially when everything else is in chaos and keeping one more thing on your plate seems completely unnecessary.

It is necessary though.

It's not because it's necessary to believe that there's people out there that are just waiting everyday for a new post to come up, to read the next mundane thing that happened in your life; but it's fun and it's creative and....well....why not?

I start this thing, and I don't think that it's ready to die. Not yet.

I have a million excuses - sure. My camera is on the fritz, I've moved twice in less than a month, I changed jobs, I got a dog, the dog NEEDS me.

I need this blog.

I'm hoping to start to maintain some focus, and I'm hoping for a fresh start.

So - if you were reading this - I'm asking for my second chance. If you weren't - I'm hoping that maybe you'll start. Doesn't have to be regular. But...you know...check in....see what's up. Maybe you'll find something you like. Even if you don't maybe you'll find something you weren't looking for but are glad you found.

With that - welcome back ..... and welcome!

Please - let me share this delightful insanity with you.

As you may or may not be aware I was fortunate enough to have to leave my beautiful old house near the river and go live with....MY MOM. Awesome. Now, I'm not going to complain too much, because without my mom's willingness to take in her 28 year old daughter, I'd have to live in my two door car. Which....really awesome.

The sad part is, my mom and I have a long history of....um....getting into multiple altercations. Which, I'm sure to the outside world can be quite colorful. I've decided to share some of the most recent conversations we've had. Keep in mind tthese actually happened.

Scene One:
SETTING: The Best Friend's House
CONVERSATION MODE: Telephone
WHEN: Two days after moving out of the house I was sharing with the Ex.

MOM: Oh, so I forgot to tell you that we don't actually have the Internet at the house

ME: I'm sorry...what? Because I'm pretty sure I made it quite clear that was one of the major things that I REQUIRE, especially since I have 8 hours of work to make up which, incidentally requires the Internet.

MOM: Well can't you go back to where you were and use it?

ME: What? Where? The house I just moved out of?? As in, the one containing NO furniture and the Ex?

MOM: What? Are you scared?

ME: Uh...yeah?

(Note: the night I decided to leave he got so intoxicated he couldn't stand and when he finally could he stood in our kitchen and said "I feel like....I feel like burning things. I feel like burning...BABIES" and proceeded to punch our PLASTER walls)

MOM: Oh...well then I don't know what you're going to do

ME: We're done talking now.

Scene Two:
SETTING: Kitchen in my mom's house
CONVERSATION MODE: In person
WHEN: Two weeks before Halloween

ME: Holy crap! I want to carve pumpkins!!

GARY (mom's husband): Yeah, me too.

ME: That would be so great. I was so excited to have a house to put them out in front of and now...gone.

GARY: We can carve pumpkins.

MOM: ....Well....are you going to be here?

ME: What?

MOM: Are you going to be here?

ME: For what?

MOM: To hand out candy??

ME: Eh?? What are you talking about?? I just want to carve pumpkins...and put them on the porch. It's what you do.

MOM: Well what do you want to do with them?

ME: I don't understand. I don't want to do anything with them. I just want to carve them and put them on the porch where they go.

MOM: And then what?

ME: And then put candles in them??

MOM: So are you going to be here then for the candy?

ME: We're done talking now.

**The rest of the conversation was Gary and me just kind of staring in puzzled confusion. We honestly just wanted to carve pumpkins. I have no idea what this had to do with passing out candy. None**

Scene Three:
SCENE: Parking lot and entryway of grocery store
CONVERSATION MODE: Phone
WHEN: Wednesday night

MOM: Where are you

ME: At the store

MOM: Well are you on the way back?

ME: What do you mean? You just watched me pull out of the driveway like 8 seconds ago. I can't possibly be on the way back already

MOM: Well I just didn't know

ME: Ok....

MOM: So....you want to park in the garage?

ME: No...that's ok. It's more hassle since I don't have an opener.

MOM: Well you can just wake me up.

ME: No really, it's fine.

MOM: Well I should get up

ME: That's crazy..nobody NEEDS to get up at 6:30am. Especially just to close the garage door.

MOM: Well then I can have Gary call me.

ME: Uh...really, it's not that big a deal.

MOM: Well...ok then. Are you coming back?

ME: When I'm done at the store.

** 30 minutes later**
SCENE: Back at my mom's house
CONVERSATION MODE: In person

MOM: I've decided something.

ME: Yeah?

MOM: Yeah...I'm going to handle your finances?

ME: Really?

MOM: Yeah...I think you should give me your money and I'll take care of banking it?

ME: Really? No.

MOM: Yeah....because you just spend, spend spend.

ME: What?

MOM: It's like you can't stop spending so, I think it would be best.

ME: Uh..I was at the grocery store. Buying food.

MOM: Well if it's something you need. But I mean then you're going to Ikea? Buy more junk? No.

ME: Yeah...we're done talking now.

I know you thought the day would never come, you were wrong

Remember those pics I mentioned like WAY back in the day? The ones from the Boyfriend's gig at the coffee shop? Where I took so many test shots that I only got like ONE actual picture of him playing? Well - in the spirit of finally, finally starting to get some stuff done. Stuff that's been hanging over my head and mocking me each and every day it remains undone, I proudly present to you...**drum roll**
Pictures! Behold!



- One of the random shots I took while trying to figure out what setting to use on my camera, thanks to Picnik it ended up looking pretty sah-weet -




- Another coffee shop test picture. In "real life" it's this pretty cool partial bust in plaster of paris or something -



- Yet another test shot (yeah it's really NO WONDER I had no battery power left when the Boyfriend got up there!) I really like those coffee mug planters though -



- Hum...whatever could this possibly be?? Maybe it's yet another test shot...and NOT a picture of the actual show... -




- Aaaaand here it is! The ONE picture that was the reason for al the rest...The Boyfriend! -



- This one is big time courtesy of Picnik. Same Boyfriend pic with like 5 Picnik effects. Nice...right? -

Then - there was mention of some fabulous flowers inhabiting my yard. Of course they are no longer blooming - probably mostly because I suck at growing stuff. Here's what they used to look like.



- Georgeous! -




- I wish I would have known how to make these beautiful and blooming for longer than the week that they lasted -

Lastly the infamous blue mac and cheese. Remember that this was gluten free and I had added blue cheese and then let it sit for a few days. Apparently this shouldn't be done.






- This, probably pretty obviously, was the pic where I try and make smurf blue mac and cheese look "arty" -

Well - that's all she wrote for right now! I'm hoping to get some pics up of the bridal shower I recently threw for my friend. Hopefully sooner than i managed to get these taken care of. Have a GREAT weekend!

Robert Goulet totally comes into your house and messes with your stuff

Do you remember those Emerald Nuts commericals where once people started hitting their 3pm slump Robert Goulet would appear and mess with their stuff?







After doing some biased, non-scientific research, I feel confident saying that Robert Goulet is coming into your home at 3pm and messing with your stuff.

How do I know this?

My missing armband for my iPod? In some totally random box with a bunch of the boyfriend's junk.

Missing plastic cover for my iTouch screen? In the same totally random boyfriend box.

Best Friend's 5 sticks of perfectly usable butter? MISSING.

I know...I know...this is quite shocking. Isn't it nice to know you have an out though? I mean missing homework? Robert Goulet! Missing pet? Robert Goulet! Missing bills? Robert Goulet!

In fact, now that I hink about it, I bet half this economic downturn can all be traced back to a few 3pm slumps that Robert Goulet took advantage of. I mean the bill was in the mail!!!! I swear! Goulet!!!!! **shakes fist at sky**

See?

The moral of the story is to stay alert people! Do not become a victim of Robert Goulet's masterful stealth spy skills.

P.S.: Apparently this post was brough to you by Emerald Nuts

P.P.S: Emerald Nuts doesn't know that they sponsored this post...

P.P.P.S: They probably wouldn't sponsor it even if it was some pretty darn good free advertising.

P.P.P.P.S: Goulet!!!!!!!

Well This Certainly Isn't Going as Planned!

Originally I started this blog so that I could post the ideas that stike me while I'm supposed to be working. Othewise they may or may not be written and if they are they usually sit in my e-mail waiting to be edited until such a time when I either delete it or post it anyway on my MySpace blog and it's almost not even relavant anymore.

I wanted to start posts over here though with past posts from my MySpace blog. Yet the only time I have time to access my MySpace blog is at work, which my company has blocked because apparently they feel that were you to have access to MySpace you would cease being productive. Little do they know that I've since come up with hundreds of new ways to stay unproductive. So I still win.

This isn't the only deterrant though. After realizing that I probably wasn't going to be taking the necessary time to repost MySpace posts here I thought maybe this could be the blog where I address all the nasty issues (hey - head out of the gutter people!!) that I can't on MySpace since people would inevidable realize who I was talking about (possibly them!) and get upset. While it's nice to vent, I don't want to risk ticking anybody else off either. Then I lose.

THEN I thought hey! This could become the place where I basically hold Alanon meetings for myself and work though those issues. But, I mean, how depressing is that! First of all - who wants to read the depressed rantings of well, me? Second - I don't think I want to put that kind of negativity out in the universe. There's already enough out there and I doubt I need to add to it.

Basically what it comes down to is that I want this to be as much fun as I think my MySpace blog is (most of the time), and I want people to want to read this. And I want to eventually break the news to everyone else that I have this thing going on over here and they should come check it out.

Here's the plan: I'm just going to move forward as if this blog has been existing for some time...and if I ever get around to posting old MySpace posts on here then yay me! If not...so what?

Enjoy!